Break!

I apologize for the length of time since my last post. Although it seems like I would have more time over break, it somehow seems that I have less! It's amazing how much time you lose when you get to sleep in and then don't have a routine. This has proved true for everything I used to have no trouble getting done while at school - blogging, reading my daily Bible readings, working out, etc!

Despite my inability to manage my time while away from school, I've had a delightful break hanging with family, seeing old friends, and laying around reading. This is my first break EVER that I haven't had to worry about finals right around the corner. My only school responsibility during this month off is to order my books for next semester!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas (despite what everyone thinks, Christmas really is 12 days long!) full of celebration of Christ's birth and life and love and death and resurrection. I know this holiday is really about his birth, but I have a hard time only celebrating one part of the life of Christ when I know the whole story! Like I've talked about in other posts, I love the liturgical year, but we can't completely recreate the feelings of the Israelites because we are lucky enough to know the story of our Savior!

Well, that's all I have to say for now! I have a bananagrams date with my brother, and I'm blogging on my iPod touch, so it's a little slower than usual (and pretty darn trendy!). For now, I'll end with a few pictures from my break. Merry Christmas!!

Chicago at night is beautiful! 

Kyle concentrating on Words with Friends ;)

The giant Christmas tree at Macy's in the city. Awesome!

It's been a Bananagrams kind of break :)

DONE!

I'm officially done with finals and my first semester in college. WHOOHOO! It's such a weird feeling to be done. This semester flew by - it honestly feels like I've only been here a week! I'm super excited to have a month off to relax though, even if I'll miss everyone here!

I'm busy gathering up stuff to go home, so I'll post something for real later. I just wanted to share my excitement and share with everyone how truly blessed I am to be in college surrounded by such amazing people. SO BLESSED! My roommate says it best on her new blog - check it out, it's awesome!

And now a few pictures from the last couple of days!

My beautiful roommate trying to figure out how to sell her books!

The laundry I did last night. 4 LOADS! I think that's a record!

'Tis the Season

As all of you know, the Christmas season is well upon us! We are more than three weeks into advent - the day of our Savior's birth in less than two weeks! How exciting :) With the season, however much we try to avoid the materialistic side of Christmas, comes gift giving - giving and receiving gifts, a part of Christmas I have always loved and cherished. There is nothing like picking out a special gift for your loved ones and watching their surprise and joy as they open it! Ever since I started working during the summers a few years ago, I started spending more on gifts for people - after all, why work if I can't buy things for the ones I love? Lately, though, I've really been questioning this.

I don't think giving gifts in itself is wrong! (just clarifying) I feel that giving gifts is just another way to show love to others. But let's think this one through... when you receive a gift from someone, do you feel less loved when they spend $50 on you instead of $10? Would you rather have a general, expensive gift or something less expensive and more personalized? I love personal gifts, but I've always gone for the extreme end, setting myself a price limit and then trying to go as close as I could to that limit, just because I can! I would always say that my friends and family deserve my money! I believe that they do, but will they actually notice if you spend $15 instead of the $20 limit? Not because you're trying to be cheap, but because the perfect gift for them was $20! Money isn't everything. Maybe this holiday season, we should focus on buying reasonable and thoughtful gifts - gifts that people will remember and appreciate, not for their monetary value but because it made them feel loved and special :)

Lo siento for rambling, but my thoughts on gifts have just really been flowing lately! Another thing that's been on my mind is what a great opportunity gift-giving is. There are so many awesome fair trade products, products that help save the environment, etc! The holidays are a great time to buy someone a beautiful gift that helps make them and others aware of social justice issues around the world, or even gifts that just spread the Gospel :) I was looking through the Not For Sale Store earlier, and found this t-shirt that I absolutely love and would LOVE to get for someone for a Christmas or a birthday:
 Love love love it. Honestly, what a great gift (maybe this is a gift for someone who is more passionate about ending Human Trafficking already, but they have a lot of other products on their website that aren't quite this loud!).

That was fun to post those pictures! Maybe I'll make a post in the near future about top Christmas gifts for a socially aware consumer. Look for that in the near future! :)

So, in short, my conclusion about gifts this year: spending less is more, and buying gifts that bring God's Kingdom to earth is the BEST!

And now, for my daily picture...

My love - just taking a snooze. Lazy day after my today's finals were done :)

to plan or not to plan?

Lately I have been going super crazy with planning stuff out. Planning for when I study abroad, planning for when I graduate, planning my entire weekmonthyear with lunches and study dates and volunteering and budgeting my time ever so carefully so as to get everything done. It finally hit me the other day that maybe, just maybe, I've been planning too much. I was at a meeting about a volunteering opportunity for next semester - working at an after school tutoring program with 4th graders at one of the nation's worst public elementary schools. I strongly believe that a stronger education system would start solving many social justice issues in our country like poverty, obesity, homelessness, and sexual violence. I realized, though, that I couldn't volunteer because of my class load - I signed up for 18 credits next semester so that when I study abroad next year, I will only have to take 12 credits.

How crazy is that?! Am I so crazy that I would give up doing something I'm passionate about, something that would work to build the Lord's Kingdom, just so that maybe in the future my workload would be easier? And that's IF I get the opportunity to study abroad. How horrible would I feel a year from now I'm bored with so little class work, or even if I don't get to study abroad at all? Pretty stinkin bad. We can't wander through our lives with no direction or purpose, but when our planning starts to affect our lives today, I feel that we aren't being glorifying.

This convicts me every time I read it: "Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil" Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins." 

-James 4:13-17

So, in case you didn't guess, I've decided to drop a class for next semester! Not only because I don't need to take it, but because it's keeping me from living fully for God today. And that, I woud say, is the most important thing :)

P.S. - I've decided to start posting a picture or two along with my blog to sum up my day! It will probably have nothing to do with the blog, but maybe sometimes they'll be pretty or interesting.

This picture might seem similar to my last post... it is! I have three finals tomorrow, and these notebooks and books have been my good friends this weekend. Wish me luck!

studystudystudy

What I'm doing...

What I'm daydreaming about doing...

wah.

JBIB

For the three or so people who read this blog, I'm sorry that I always post about school. So lame, right?! But I mean, I guess it's a good thing that my classes are sparking enough interest in me that I'd post about it?? Hmmmm. Anyways, English class this time! Our last reading of the semester is from the Jefferson Bible. If you've never heard of it, it's pretty crazy! Thomas Jefferson literally chopped up a King James Version Bible and rearranged and pasted parts to his liking. This isn't the whole Bible of course, just the story of Jesus! He's crazy though! He took the four gospels and mixed them all together into a crazy work. If you don't believe me, just check out this website. It just so happens that the Smithsonian came out with an exhibit about the Jefferson Bible. You can literally see how he used scissors and glue to make this.

For class, we just had to pick one chapter that seemed to exhibit a significant amount of cutting and pasting, compare it to the original version online, and just think about why he would have chosen those specific passages. Our teacher mentioned in class today that Jefferson took out most of the 'spiritual' aspects of Jesus's ministry, like healing and feeding 5000 people. He was instead most interested in the parables. He wanted a picture of Jesus that was merely philosophical. Most think he did this because he was trying to discern how to best run the newly independent, religiously tolerant and free America. He wanted all the little tidbits of advice without all the "unnecessary" spiritual stuff.

I chose to read the last two chapters of his Bible - I was excited to see what His version said about the resurrection! After all, we wouldn't have Christianity if Jesus wasn't resurrected... we would still be bound by sin, separated from God by the temple curtain. This story wouldn't matter without the resurrection. So i get to the end, and this is what I read:

"Then took they the body of Jesus, and wound it in linen clothes with the spices, as the manner of the Jews is to bury. Now in the place where he was crucified there was a garden; and in the garden a new sepulchre, wherein never man yet laid. There laid they Jesus: and rolled a great stone to the door of the sepulchre, and departed."


The end.

Seriously?? It's like the disciples were walking away saying "oh well, another one bites the dust" and "maybe another prophet will come along next year". That's it! Jesus was just another man who died. Big dealio.

No no no! That's not it at all. The resurrection means EVERYTHING! Jesus defeated sin, he defeated death! If Jesus wasn't raised from the dead in a literal body, then the devil has won. But no! God has won! YAY! Hahah I could honestly talk about this forever, and I wish I had time to. But honestly, I just can't get across how much the resurrection matters and how surprised I was that Jefferson had even excluded that part. Jesus wasn't just another prophet that disappointed his followers when he hung dead on the cross. He wasn't just another false Messiah. No, Jesus was the real deal, changing everything ever by his death and resurrection.

Another thing I found funny about this was that Jefferson said later that one of his main goals was to simplify the Bible "for the Indians". Because obviously an Indian could understand parables but NOT the message of grace, hope, and love? Obviously. That makes soooo much sense. Bravo Jeffy boy!

Hahah. Oh man. I'm so tireeeed. Time to go to sleepy so I can wake up and study my butt off some more for finals next week. Whoot! Gooooodnight :)

Oh, also! This video is probably the saddest thing I've ever seen, but very inspiring! My friend Jessica who goes to Michigan State told me to watch it, and asked me to spread it around if I liked it as well. This guy is a friend of one of her friends. He posted this video just two days ago, and it already has over 60,000 views. It's going viral! God always loves us!

Luther

Today in theo, my professor talked the entire class about Martin Luther. Most of it was pretty boring - he's spent his entire career studying the life of Luther, so he knows a lot about the guy. He said a couple of things, however, that were super interesting and definitely got me thinking a little more about the whole justification issue. I'm not going to discuss it here (my best friend Kyle has a great post about it tho, check it out!) because i'm not well versed enough about it and don't have enough time! Here are just a few things about the life of Luther that made me think a little more about the issue:

1) Luther had a case of scruples for a lot of his life. He had a hard time feeling forgiveness for his sins and feeling God's love. Maybe his reason for putting so much emphasis on faith?

2) Luther believed that having faith will lead to good works - they naturally belong together and cannot be separated!

3) Luther wrote a lot about the law, and what it means for us after the resurrection of Jesus and the beginning of a time of freedom from sin. He said that the difference between following the law and fulfilling the law is faith. Maybe this was why he often wrote of faith alone - faith alone is what transcends the gap between following and fulfilling.

Well, that's honestly all I have to share! For a guy whose theology led to many churches who don't emphasize a life change and only tell the parishioners to have faith, I found it interesting that this is not even close to what he meant. Just something to think about as you wrestle with justification :)

Finally, a little Michael Bublé for you! Love this song and love him, awww yeah.

ThreeWeeks!

I am getting so excited for Christmas it's insane! I really do just love Christmas. All the girls on my floor decorated our lounge tonight - we put up lights and snowflakes and paper stockings and made a fireplace and Christmas trees! It looks gorgeous. I love them all and I feel so lucky that I've gotten to know them this year!

One thing that I find awesome about the Episcopal church (the church I grew up in!) and many other more traditional churches is that they follow the liturgical year. Seasons that rise and fall with the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. When reading the Old Testament, we are able to witness the Israelites observe many holidays to remember important events like their deliverance from Israel. Now, in this new age since Jesus, we also show remembrance, but instead of the Israelites to Jesus!

Right now we're of course in the season of advent, the month leading up to the birth of our Savior. The service and prayers change slightly, but my favorite part is the advent wreath - a wreath containing four candles and one candle in the middle. Each week of advent, one more candle is lit. This simple wreath adds to the excitement and build up of the season. I'm better able to understand how the Israelites felt when waiting for the Messiah - so hopeful and expectant! I can't help but be joyful, though, since I know the story ahead of time :)

I encourage everyone to get in the mood of the season this year! And by that, I don't mean by buying lots of presents and stressing out over having the best holiday decorations (although I do believe both of these things can be glorifying when done properly!!), but instead by recreating these feelings of hope by reading the Christmas story and going to church! And other things! Seriously though, following the liturgical year is so rewarding.

I hope everyone is feeling loved this advent! Even if you don't feel it, you are :)

Reclaimers

So I'm sitting on the floor of my bathroom eating cheese&crackers and stalking the world on facebook. Obviously, because what else would I be doing at 1:15am on a Friday morning. Oh wait, MAYBE SLEEPING BEFORE MY 8AM CLASS! Okay, that's all I'll allow myself to rant. Dorms suck sometimes, people are so poopin loud! Oh well, at least tomorrow(today) is Friday and I can nap for a longggg time after class. Or just go to bed early hahah.

I've been thinking a lot lately about Romans 7, where Paul talks about how he does what he doesn't want to do and doesn't do what he does want to do... super confusing! But it makes total sense when you think about it. Everyone can identify with knowing what's right and then doing the opposite. In fact, I would guess that for most people this sort of feeling happens on a daily basis. I know it does for me!

St. Augustine talked a lot about this in something of his I read recently. I'm not really sure what it's called (since I'm sitting in my bathroom and all), but it's in my Intro to Theology book. It's actually quite strange, because he's writing this long essay/book which clearly states that he believes in God and Jesus Christ, except he says that he's not a Christian yet. Interesting! Isn't that what most people mean when they say they're Christians? They mean that they believe in the Holy Trinity: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. St. Augustine believed, but yet he was unwilling to call himself a Christian.

You see, Augustine had a big problem in his life, an area that he wasn't quite ready to turn over to God. For many years, he had been living with a concubine, a woman he wasn't married to. He even had a child by her! Although he loved this woman very much, he knew it wasn't right to keep living with this woman while he waited to be officially married off. He just couldn't, however, give up the sex. He prayed "Lord, give me chastity and continence, but not yet."

Augustine struggled with exactly what Paul was talking about in Romans 7. He wrote a lot about it, referring to these two, conflicting wills inside of him:

"The enemy held fast my will, and had made of it a chain, and had bound me tight with it. For out of the perverse will came lust, and the service of lust ended in habit, and habit, not resisted, became necessity. By these links, as it were, forged together -- which is why I called it "a chain" -- a hard bondage held me in slavery. But that new will which had begun to spring up in me freely to worship thee and to enjoy thee, O my God, the only certain Joy, was not able as yet to overcome my former willfulness, made strong by long indulgence. Thus my two wills -- the old and the new, the carnal and the spiritual -- were in conflict within me; and by their discord they tore my soul apart."

Augustine absolutely FEELS the power that sin has in his life. He feels it and is living it so much that he is not even willing to call himself a Christian. Could you imagine if the only people who called themselves Christians were those who felt that they had truly surrendered all of their struggles to Christ? After all, Christian does mean "little Christ". I feel that we would have a lot fewer Christians in this world today.

Thank goodness for Jesus Christ, who died on the cross and defeated sin and death. Hallelujah! Without Christ, Augustine would never have been able to overcome this bondage. He would have been  trapped. Can you imagine living in the times of the Israelites? Where sin seemed to run the show? When looking at it this way, maybe the stories of whole cities gathering to rape travelers in the Old Testament don't seem as crazy. Just today I read the story of the levite and his concubine in Judges 19, how the concubine was brutally raped and left to die, and how the levite proceeded to cut up her body into 12 pieces and send them to the 12 tribes of Israel. Then how the rest of the tribes were so angry that they destroyed the city of Gibeah and all its inhabitants. Revenge to the max. Life before Jesus Christ.

But you might say, hey wait a minute. Sure, all this was going on back then, but have you seen our world today? Have you seen the hate, the war, the poverty, the sickness? Do you know that 27 million people are enslaved in this world today? That little girls - 8 years old 9 years old 10 years old - are raped 20 times a day for years and years and eventually die from disease and malnourishment? What about those girls? TELL ME how that's different from the concubine. Sin has not been defeated because I see it rampant on this earth.

Oh no no no. Wait a second! When I say Jesus died on the cross and defeated sin and death, I mean it. I mean he started it all, he started the sweet process of God joining Heaven to Earth! He flipped the tables in the temple because God no longer resides there! He resides in all of His followers - we ARE the temples, the living breathing walking moving loving temples, able to use the life giving Holy Spirit inside of us to create new temples all around the world, until that sweet day when the entire Earth is made new and Heaven and Earth are one, when it will ALL be a temple. Yes, there is injustice and hardship and hate and poverty and loneliness, children are neglected and starving and the homeless cry out from the streets, but through the Holy Sprit in us we are reclaimers! We are reclaiming this world in the name of the Lord, He is using US to bring His kingdom to earth. I don't know why, but He is! Let's not complain about injustice, but instead work to solve it. We truly ARE the hand's and feet of God! Jesus HAS defeated sin and death and ushered in a new era of hope and love, peace and joy, an era where we are FREE from the bondage of sin and are called to free others from their mortal chains! The evil one has no idea what's coming - he may think he still has a chance, trying to reclaim territory on this earth, but he sure doesn't!!!!!! We are free we are free we are free we are free and God will WIN! Let's use the power of God to CHOOSE to do what we know is right and what we know He is calling us to do, let us lead lives that are worthy of the name Christian! I pray the Lord would help us all to escape from what is holding us back in order to realize our true freedom in Christ and FREE OTHERS! Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we are free at last!

Amen.

Schoolio the coolio

What I would major in if I could have unlimited majors:
Social Work
Theology
Religious Studies
Cellular Biology
Nutrition
Environmental Science
Agriculture
Entrepreneurship
Law
Criminal Justice
and a million more.

I don't understand why college is so stinkin expensive. Seriously! If it wasn't, maybe I'd stay and graduate with 10 degrees! Just kidding. I feel so blessed to be able to be studying even ONE thing at a university though! Most college kids definitely take education for granted.

I think there should be a minor in Praying. Learning different ways to pray, and learning how people of other religions pray too! And taking a whole class where all you do is pray! Maybe an entire minor couldn't be made out of this, but I think it's a good idea. I so desperately want to learn how to pray better that it sounds so good right now. I know for sure that minors are offered in worship! So why not prayer? I'm going to follow up on this.

Goodnight!

Giving Thanks

Wow, it's been quite a while since I've posted something here... whoops! I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday full of family, friends, and most of all, praise to God.

This past week, I was thinking a lot about a conversation I had with a friend a couple of years ago. We were sitting around talking about religion, and he said, "I just don't understand how such a good God would create humans for the sole purpose to worship Him. That doesn't seem like a very good God to me." At the time, I was unable to say anything. Thankfully, I've learned a few things since then!

First of all, God created us out of love. That's it! He created us without expecting to get anything in return - He gave us free will, free to turn away from Him or love Him. True love is a love that gives freely without expectation. When we realize how great and wonderful this love is, love so great that God would send His only son to die for our sins, what else can we do but fall to our knees and worship our Creator? When someone loves you, loving them back is a natural response. When a gift is given, a natural response  is to give thanks and a gift in return. Worshipping God is only natural, not something that is mandated.

In Theology class, my professor brought to my attention a passage that really highlights this response of thanksgiving to God:

"When you have entered the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance and have taken possession of it and settled in it, take some of the firstfruits of all that you produce from the soil of the land the LORD you God is giving you and put them in a basket. Then go to the place the LORD you God will choose as a dwelling for his Name and say to the priest in office at the time, "I declare today to the LORD you God that I have come to the land the LORD swore to our forefathers to give us." The priest shall take the basket from your hands and set it down in front of the altar of the LORD you God. Then you shall declare before the LORD your God: "My father was a wandering Amamean, and he went down into Egypt with a few people and lived there and became a great nation, powerful and numerous. But the Egyptians mistreated us and made us suffer, putting us to hard labor. Then we cried out to the LORD, the God of our fathers, and the LORD heard our voice and saw our misery, toil and oppression. So the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, with great terror and with miraculous signs and wonders. He brought us to this place and gave us this land, a land flowing with milk and honey; and now I bring the firstfruits of the soil that you, O LORD, have given me." Place the basket before the LORD your God and bow down before him. And you and the Levites and the aliens among you shall rejoice in all the good things the LORD your God has given to you and your household."

Deuteronomy 26:1-11

Pretty awesome! The Israelites are so thankful and so overcome with their love for God that they offer to Him the firstfruits of the crop - the first and best part of their crop. Through this image, we are able to understand why Jesus is often referred to as the firstfruits. Paul says in 1 Corinthians: "But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. But each in his own turn: Christ, the firstfuits; then, when he comes, those who belong to him." (15:20-23) Jesus is the firstfruits - the best of the crop and the first to be picked. And just like the rest of the crop would have been picked at a later time, we too will be raised from the dead, just as Jesus was.

Although Thanksgiving has come and gone, let's continue to give thanks to God for creating us out of love - so much love that He would give His son for us. We love God because He first loved us :)

Psalms

I honestly don't understand people. Being a Christian is really stinkin hard sometimes! It's all worth it, and I would endure trials every second of the day for Jesus, but it's still hard!

I opened my Bible to the Psalms a few minutes ago and found myself at Psalm 88, which is such a depressing Psalm! But I read parts of it and just identified SO much. I felt victorious, like someone finally understood what I was feeling! It's so crazy to me how a Psalm can do that. Just another tribute to how amazing and unchanging God is.

I hope everyone is having an amazing Thanksgiving weekend! No matter what trials you may be facing, let's never forget to give thanks to God for all of our many blessings, and most of all for His son, Jesus Christ. AMEN!

Justice

I feel that not only is there a large division in churches between traditional and contemporary/conservative and liberal, but there is a big divide with what churches choose to preach about and focus on: in other terms, what the church deems is the most important about Jesus's message. On one side, you have those churches who emphasize the fact that Jesus was a rebel, an outcast - someone who fed the poor and spent time with lepers and had dreadlocks and wore clothes he made himself. Kind of like Shane Claiborne, except he's Jesus. Then you have churches who see Jesus as the talker, the guy who always gave great advice and who shared the good news about His father in Heaven and the Kingdom to come. Which Jesus is the real Jesus? Who should we follow?

Well, the answer is that neither of these guys is who Jesus was (and is!). Jesus did, of course, feed the poor and spend time with lepers. That was what he spent a majority of his time doing. But Jesus also spent a lot of time teaching about His father, especially to the disciples. You can't split Jesus in half because you only want to emphasize one part. Some people only want to do good works because this is what they find more appealing, or maybe because it's easier for them. This is the same for people who only want the evangelizing side of Jesus. They like to talk about how great Jesus is, but going out and physically helping people just doesn't do it for them. We absolutely can't have one without the other!

I was really reminded of this when the other day in my honors seminar, my teacher put a definition of social justice up on the board. The definition of social justice that scholars have agreed on (and this is in the secular world, mind you) is this: Social justice generally refers to the idea of creating a society or institution that is based on the principles of equality and solidarity, that understands and values human rights, and that recognizes the dignity of every human being.


So interesting! This basic definition of social justice incorporates both sides - meeting the physical needs of people (a society that's equal would have no hungry or thirsty) and sharing the message of Jesus (recognizing the dignity of every human being means helping those see dignity and love themselves - the only true way this will happen is if they follow Jesus). I love that! You just absolutely need to value both if you're going to follow Jesus. You need to walk the walk and talk the talk. And this isn't even me getting into how one is "saved" (faith or works or both?). It's just recognizing that if we're going to truly follow Jesus, we need to have equal parts of "good works" and "evangelizing". When you think about it, why do the two even need to be separated? Jesus didn't seem to divide his ministry into categories.


I think that's all I have to say. Just thought it was interesting that a secular definition got it spot on (besides that the definition didn't mention the Holy Spirit working through us, or that God is the only One who can create this perfect world in the end) and many churches struggle with incorporating both. So, let's walk and talk at the same time :)

My Name is Not "Those People"

As soon as we think we know something, we realize we know nothing.
As soon as we feel good about ourselves, we are humbled.
As soon as we think we know beauty or love or joy,
God shows us that there is always more than we could ever expect.

Isn't God just awesome like that?

Lately, I'm getting super excited to have time off from school so that I can just soak up this amazing world, so that I have time to paint and write and read and sleep and watch the rain (or snow!).

But because I don't have time for that at the moment, I wanted to share the below poem with everyone. My social welfare and justice teacher passed it out to the class, and now it's hanging on my wall, helping to remind me why I love God and people and how badly I want some darn justice in this world.

My Name is Not "Those People"

By Julia Dinsmore

My name is not "Those People".
I am a loving woman, a mother in pain,
Giving birth to the future, where my babies
Have the same chance to thrive as anyone.

My name is not "Inadequate".
I did not make my husband leave us -
He chose to, and chooses not to pay child support.
Truth is though; there isn’t a job base
For all fathers to support their families.
While society turns its head, my children pay the price.

My name is not "Problem and Case to Be Managed".
I am a capable human being and citizen, not just a client.
The social service system can never replace
       the compassion and concern of loving grandparents, aunts,
       uncles, fathers, cousins, community -
       all the bonded people who need to be
But are not present to bring children forward to their potential.

My name is not "Lazy, Dependent Welfare Mother".
If the unwaged work of parenting,
         homemaking and community building was factored
         into the gross domestic product,
My work would have untold value. And why is it that mothers whose
Husbands support them to stay home and raise children
Are glorified? And why they don’t get called lazy or dependent?

My name is not "Ignorant, Dumb or Uneducated".
I got my PhD from the university of life, school of hard everything,
I live with an income of $621 with $169 in food stamps for three kids.
Rent is $585...That leaves $36 a month to live on.
        I am such a genius at surviving,
        I could balance the state budget in an hour.
Never mind that there's a lack of living-wage jobs.
Never mind that it's impossible to be the sole emotional, social,
       Spiritual, and economic support to a family.
Never mind that parents are losing their children
       to gangs, drugs, stealing, prostitution, the poverty industry,
       social workers, kidnapping, the streets, the predator.
Forget about putting money into schools...
       just build more prisons!

My name is not "Lay Down and Die Quietly".
My love is powerful, and the urge to keep my children alive will never stop.
All children need homes and people who love them.
All children need safety
And the chance to be the people they were born to be.
The wind will stop before I allow my sons to become a statistic.
Before you give in to the urge to blame me,
        the blames that lets us go blind and unknowing
        into the isolation that disconnects
        your humanity from mine,
Take another look. Don't go away.
For I am not the problem, but the solution.
My name is not "Those People".

Using our Bodies

While reading my Intro to Theology book today, I stumbled across something that got me thinking! While defending the use of icons in the church, St. Theodore of Studios said, "If merely mental contemplation [of God] were sufficient, it would have been sufficient for him to come to us in a merely mental way." Even though it didn't get me thinking much more about icons (whoops, sorry Dr. Mattox!), it did get me thinking about how we worship God.

God is active, He is moving. He isn't stagnant. He sent His one and only son to die for our sins, defeat death, but also show us how to live here and now. And Jesus did everything but just sit around - He was always on the move, healing people, preaching the Word of God, and praying to his Father in Heaven. Why should we content to have a faith that is merely believing in our heads? That doesn't even seem like real Christianity. Following Jesus means living lives of love!

One specific thing that I was thinking about was the way we worship - whether in church or out in the world giving glory to God in all that we do! Living out our faith with our physical bodies isn't just something extra, it's mandatory! So why should we be content to do nothing special with our bodies while in church? I love outward signs - the sign of the cross, genuflecting, raising our hands in praise, kneeling, putting our hands together in prayer, dancing, hugging, etc! I'm not saying that in order to worship God we have to do one or all of these things, but my question for you is this: Why wouldn't you? I propose that we glorify God with all that we have all the time, especially with our bodies. God sent Jesus to earth in a physical body, so we should use ours when following him :)

90 Days

Today I started a program along with some of my friends to read through the whole Bible in 90 days. It's a lot of reading every day (for a super busy person, that is!), but I'm committed to this journey! At 19 years old, I've still never read the Bible straight through. God made it really obvious that He wanted me to do this over the last week, and I'm excited to finally start something I should have done a long time ago.

If anyone reading this would like to join me, I'm using this schedule.

Also, this song is really, really doing it for me lately. I've heard it before, but it's finally in my actual iTunes! I just get so turned off my most music lately that I just don't bother to turn it on anymore! So much silence, but I don't think that's always bad thing.

I hope it's okay that my posts aren't always super thought-provoking (at least they're supposed to be!). But I guess this blog is about living as a Christian in today's world, and I'm definitely not always sitting around and thinking! There's a lot of living going on, so maybe it's okay if I put some of that on here, too :)

Church

All of a sudden, I'm freaking myself out about college and what I'm studying and all of those shenanigans. What if I'm not studying the right thing? What if I hate what I'm studying? Is it okay to study something you only half-heartedly care about because you're convinced the end will justify the means? What if it's poopy at the end?

Seriously, last night I had a stomachache from thinking so much! I'm willing to take classes I don't love to get to an end that's awesome, but the fact that the end might not be awesome freaks me out!

Well, prayers would be appreciated! But enough crying into my blog for one day :)

My lovely friend Becca sent me a video talking about church and the differences between traditional and contemporary and all that jazz. The classic debate, right? Which one is better, which one is truly glorifying God?

The trick is, there's no true answer to these questions. No church is perfect, and if you think that yours is, you aren't truly looking. And while of course the classic traditional church and the classic contemporary church both have flaws, they both do really, really well in some areas too.

For example, the contemporary churches like Willow Creek do a lot of things right. They get people truly excited about God with music and dancing and art. They often encourage Bible reading and really asking the hard questions. Their sermons are usually thought-provoking and really dig deep, using the Bible as their reference. They're not afraid to read lots of books and bring in speakers to help supplement the Bible. However, this type of church needs to be wary of crossing some lines. They put emphasis on music and art, but they have to make sure that there isn't too much hype that accompanies these mediums. Otherwise, people will be worshipping the music and the way it makes them feel instead of God. They also have to be careful that they aren't completely abandoning everything that churches have done in the past. Just because past churches haven't been perfect doesn't mean we should pretend their teachings and traditions never happened and start from scratch.

Similarly, the traditional church has a lot going for it as well. They emphasize beauty in a quiet way, with stained glass windows and old hymns. They often do really well in the department of religious education - making sure kids are engaged and learning about their faith from the time they're very young. They also aren't afraid to take part in traditions. Many people shudder when they hear that word, but tradition in itself isn't a bad thing. Liturgy, outward signs such as the sign of the cross or genuflecting, and the Eucharist every week are beautiful signposts to God. Traditional churches also have to be careful of falling into some common traps, and misusing tradition is one of them. Traditions like the ones I described are a wonderful way to worship our God, but if a church starts doing things just because they've always done them, they are now worshipping the traditions themselves. This is a big danger, especially for those who attend these type of churches. It often happens that they grew up always making the sign of the cross, but now at age 35, they still don't know what it means. One must know the meaning on everything he or she does, and also must reflect on that meaning during the service. Traditional churches also must make sure they're always open-minded and willing to change, constantly examining the Bible and hoping God will show them what needs to be changed.

As you can see, the two stereotypical churches have fairly opposite strengths and weaknesses. So which is the best to go to? Most people just say wherever you feel the most at home, whichever one you like more. I just thought of something a little different, though. What if we went to the church where we felt a little uncomfortable? What if we grew up in a traditional church, so as an adult, we make the change to one that's contemporary? This may sound silly, but here are a few reasons:

1) How will you best be challenged and learn new things if you go to the exact same church your whole life?
2) More importantly, how will you be able to best be a contributing church member if you're always at the same church? If a person who is a strict tradition church-goer decided to make his or her church home at a contemporary church, they might be out of their comfort zone, but they would also be able to bring great ideas to the table about how this church could improve their liturgy and add a few traditions, like weekly Eucharist. The same is true if a contemporary church-goer went to a traditional church. They might be uncomfortable, but they could probably help make some changes to the church that would bring more life and color and beauty to the church and help people get excited about worshipping the One True God.

These are just my thoughts. As you can see, I didn't use any Bible references in this post. That's because while we can read about the first church in Acts over and over again, I believe there will still be people who interpret it different ways. So, let's try to build each other up in what we're doing well, and help strengthen each other in what we're lacking.

Weightism

The other day, my friend told me that her psychology class was talking about one of the only still acceptable prejudices, "weightism". I had never heard of this before, but it made me so sad when she was telling me all about it. Weightism is a prejudice against people of a certain weight, usually aimed at obese or morbidly obese people (although skinny people can be targets too!). My friend told me that a surprisingly high percentage of employers surveyed (somewhere around 30% i think) wouldn't hire an obese person for any reason. How crazy is that?!? It's the only prejudice that doesn't have laws to protect the victims. Employers can refuse to hire people because of their weight and get away with it.

This made me think about myself and how often I judge people based on weight or other characteristics. The way people talk, the food they eat and the way they look are just a few ways I judge people. Judging takes place constantly, too - just passing a person on the sidewalk invites a million thoughts and prejudices to my mind in a matter of seconds. What can we do about this? As Christians, what's the answer?

Obviously, we're called not to judge anyone, no matter what the circumstances! Matthew 7:1-2 says "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Whoa... that's pretty scary. At this rate, God is going to judge me pretty harshly. Romans 2:1 says "You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things".


We have no excuse.


So how are we supposed to stop judging people? By becoming a more devoted servant of God, we will naturally stop judging people as often and start loving them more and more. I feel that to stop judging, we also must purposefully push those evil thoughts out of our heads. By focusing on who people really are, how God see's them, we can come closer to loving them the way God does. Maybe every time you see someone, it would be helpful to remind yourself that they are a beloved child of God. Sometimes I've found myself saying something like this over and over in my head, and it really does help.

Judgement is a hard thing, and it's something that's very prevalent in our society. When our old selves died to the law, we became new beings - beings with Christ inside of us, who live by and for God (Galatians 2:20). This means that every part of us, our whole self, should be glorifying God, including our eyes and our thoughts. The temptation to judge is strong, but with enough prayer and perseverance, I believe it's something we can all overcome with God's help.

King Jesus

"I'm not implying that I've already received 'resurrection,' or that I've already become complete and mature! No: I'm hurrying on, eager to overtake it, because King Jesus has overtaken me."

-Philippians 3:12

I feel like that really says it all.

Witnessing Communities

Hello all! I had a really great weekend on my retreat. God challenged me in a lot of ways and I'm excited to share what I learned!

The "track" I was apart of this weekend was called Witnessing Communities. Here are a few things I learned:

A community has these four characteristics:
1) They are Christ-centered
2) They are authentic - the people are honest with each other and God
3) They are frequent - they intentionally meet often and are an important part of each other's lives
4) They have a mission - working to bring God's Kingdom to earth by loving and serving; following Jesus and telling others about him.

A witnessing community is a little different because it's main focus is on the work done outside of the main community events: a group of students that leave their comfort zones,  and go together to a specific group of people God has laid on their hearts with the intention to bless them with the words and deeds of the Gospel.

In other words: Leave, Go, Bless


We also learned about the 5 marks of an effective witnessing community:
1) Genuine transformation vs. receiving information
2) Sacrificial service
3) Hunger for truth vs. desire for fun experiences only
4) Powerful proclamation
5) Direct and indirect evangelism


Pretty cool stuff! It made me realize that groups I'm currently apart of or have been apart of in the past definitely weren't living up to the witnessing communities we see in Acts and that Paul talks about in many of his letters, such as 1 Thessalonians. Community shouldn't be for our own personal gain, but always to help us to be a better conduit for God's love.

Another thing that God really put on my heart this weekend was what a great opportunity living in the dorms is. We will probably never have another opportunity in our lives to live in a close community with a bunch of people that may or may not have any clue who Jesus is. What a great opportunity to shine God's light where there may be some darkness, and what a great chance to truly love as God has loved us - even to those who may be hard to love or who may want nothing to do with our love.

Finally, God made me realize, again, that I am not called to be the savior of this world. Neither are you. WE are called to be God's hands and feet to bring Heaven to earth. WE. Together! God created us to have relationships and live in community. It's not about what we can do individually, but what the church can do. Awesome.

I hope everyone had an amazing weekend, and I'm praying that God blesses this new week :)

Violence

Today in history, my teacher spent most of the class talking about the Middle Ages and, more specifically, the crusades. It makes me so sad to think about how many people died at the hands of these people who said they were fighting for Christ, many of whom truly believed that this was how to "carry his cross". This brought up some important questions about what the Bible says about violence. After all, many Christians throughout the ages have supported violence in some way.


I don't think anyone can argue against the fact that Jesus's teaching revolves around love. When the Pharisees questioned Jesus about what commandment in the Law was the greatest, Jesus replied that the greatest command is to love God with all your heart, and the second is to love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:34-40). Jesus's entire ministry and message revolves around loving everyone - not just the Jews, God's original chosen people, but the Gentiles as well. As followers of Jesus today, we are also called to love our neighbors as ourselves. This doesn't just include fellow citizens of the United States, but also citizens of the world; not only Christians, but people of every faith, because we are all God's children, made in His image. This message of love, of course, translates into a message of nonviolence. Jesus reaffirms this specific call to nonviolence in Matthew 26:47-56, when he is arrested. Jesus condemns one of his disciples for trying to draw his sword to save him, and there is no greater cause for violence than the murder of our Lord.


Most people will agree with all of this, saying yes, Jesus was all about the passive thing, the nonviolence thing, but they often still ask about extreme cases. "Aren't there some exceptions to this rule? What about Hitler?"


This is a really hard question. It's easy for us to look back at genocides or at Nazi Germany and say, "There was absolutely no other option! We had to go in and save the people who were being oppressed. We had to help!" The bottom line is, though, it's not up to us to decide who is deserving of life or death. We are not called to liberate people through violence. Turning to violence says that we don't trust God to liberate His sons and daughters through love and peace. Did God not lead the Israelites out of Egypt? God will win, He will free the oppressed and cast judgements on the oppressor. And because God has given us His Holy Spirit, we are now called to be His hands and feet, to liberate His people by means of His love and mercy. We are called to be Oskar Schindlers and Martin Luther King Jrs. We are called to love until it hurts, and then keep on loving. 

"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
                                                                                                     -Matthew 5:3-10


That could have been my whole post, honestly. I can't say it any better than Jesus!


For a great book about nonviolence, politics, and how to be a Christian in our country today, check out Shane Claiborne and Chris Haw's book called Jesus for President. It's awesome.


Tomorrow at 3pm I'll be leaving to go on a retreat for the weekend, so there won't be any posts until Sunday or Monday! :( If you think of it, please pray for all of those on the retreat, that God would use this time to shape us evermore in His image and evermore ready to serve Him.


Hope you have a great weekend :)

God's Call

Yesterday and today I've been thinking a lot about God's call for our lives, as in what He has called us to pursue, who He has called us to minister to, where He has called us to live. Is it possible for God to change His mind about a call for us? Or even scarier than that, can we mistake something else as God's call?

As far as the first question goes, I believe this is an absolute no. Not only is God unchanging, he is all knowing.

Psalm 102:25-27 says this:

In the beginning you laid the foundations of the earth,
     and the heavens are the work of your hands.
They will perish, but you will remain;
     they will all wear out like a garment.
Like clothing you will charge them
     and they will be discarded.
But you remain the same,
     and your years will never end.

Psalm 139:1-6 says this:

O LORD, you have searched me
     and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
     you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
     you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
     you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in - behind and before;
     you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
     too lofty for me to attain.

God knows us from the inside out. As our Creator, He knows more about us than we do - He knows our gifts, our weaknesses, our thoughts, our desires. Paul says in Romans 12 that each one of us makes up a part of the body of Christ. Naturally, each body part must have a different role in order for the body to function and work together. If the body was made up of thousands of eyes or feet, how could it function? No - instead we must each use the gifts God has given us to make up a unique and life-giving part of Christ's body. Through our gifts, God has called each of us to make up a unique part - a part that no one else can replace.

The biggest example of God's unchangingness (is that a word?) is God sending His son to die for our sins. God didn't send Jesus as an afterthought, as a "whoops, Israel failed me again, I guess I should come up with something better!" Not at all! From the very beginning, God's plan was to save His whole creation through His one and only son. And what a beautiful plan that is!

God's call to us, to love God with all our heart and soul and to love our neighbor (Matthew 23:37-38), is constant. Through this call and through our gifts, following God will naturally put us on the path we are supposed to be on (Although this path could involve multiple places to live, people to minister to, etc - and it often does! That's the hard part!).

One thing we can definitely fall victim to, though, is mistaking something else for God's call. Most often I think of this as a type of theatrics - something designed to really make us emotional and make us feel as though the Spirit has moved us. Some churches use tactics like these to reel people in - intense music and lights, powerful videos, etc. I'm not saying these things are bad in themselves as long as the Truth of the Gospel is being preached. We just have to be careful that we're worshipping God, not the techniques and tactics that so often seem to intensify our feelings.

If we are questioning whether a call is from God or not, we can do a few things: Pray, Compare it to scripture, and ask for advice from other members of Christ's body who are praying/reading for us. Hopefully, that will allow you to discern what God is truly calling you to do :)

Whatever decisions you end up making, whether you feel God called you or not, we can rest assured knowing that if we try our hardest to follow Him, we will end up in the right place. After looking at God's amazing plan of salvation and redemption through Jesus, it's hard NOT to trust His love and judgement :)

Saints

Well, it seems that another holiday is upon us. For those of you that don't know (or didn't read ma first post), it's All Saints Day! Whoot! In the Catholic Church, the day celebrates those who have died and reached heaven. Tomorrow, All Soul's Day, the celebration and prayers are focused on those who are currently in Purgatory, that in-between place before going to Heaven. I realize that this is quite similar to the Halloween stuff I was talking about yesterday, but going to a Catholic school makes me think about these things even more than I used to.

Since I'm not Roman Catholic, the concept of Purgatory is still a little unfamiliar to me. While I could stumble through Bible passages and try to point to why there is or is not a Purgatory, I feel that I should do more research on my own before I publish my thoughts on the internet (although I'd love to hear thoughts of people who know more about the topic than me!!).

One thing that interests me, however, is the topic of "Saints" and "Sainthood". In the letters of Paul, we see the term "saint" used much differently than churches today use it. Of course, it depends on what version of the Bible you read, but in many versions, Paul uses the term saint to describe a follower of Christ, both living and deceased.

A few examples...

2 Corinthians 1:1 - "Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, and Timothy our brother, To the church of God which is at Corinth with all the saints who are throughout Achaia.."


Ephesians 3:8 - "To me, the very least of all saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unfathomable riches of Christ..."


Crazy! So while I still have a lot to read concerning these days and what the Bible has to say about them, I think I'll spend this lovely first of November praising God for all of His saints - those followers of the past, present, and future who work to bring God's Kingdom here to Earth.

A picture my roommate Alexandra took of the beautiful Milwaukee sunrise this morning.
Moments like these help remind me how good and beautiful God created this earth to be :)

Happy Halloween?

Happy Halloween everyone! I figure that now is as good of a time as ever to start blogging. I've never done this before, so cut me some slack! I'll try to write about interesting things fairly regularly, but we'll see if it works.


I've been thinking a lot lately about how celebrating Halloween fits in with following Christ. The way college students celebrate it, I don't see any way that the two can coexist. Wearing teeny, expensive costumes and drinking too much alcohol is definitely not the way a follower of Christ should live. What about the actual holiday, though?


After looking it up on Wikipedia, it seems that Halloween does have some roots in Christianity, but they don't seem to be very Biblical. It's traditionally known as "All Hallow's Eve", the eve of All Saints Day. Apparently, "it was traditionally believed that the souls of the departed wandered the earth until All Saints Day, and All Hallow's Eve provided one last chance for the dead to gain vengeance on their enemies before moving onto the next world. To avoid being recognized by a soul, Christians would wear masks and costumes to disguise themselves, following the lighted candles set by others to guide their travel for worship the next day. Today, this practice has been perpetuated through trick-or-treating."

This would scare my soul away for sure!

Honestly, that sounds a lot more like something Plato would have written - souls floating around, looking for the next world. I know that this is definitely way different from the Truths about the afterlife written down in the Bible, which talks about a bodily resurrection and God's new creation. 


As a Christian, it seems like not celebrating Halloween would be a good way to try and live for God in ways separate of this world. That's easy enough for me to say as a college student - it might be a different story when I'm trying to raise kids of my own!


However you decided to spend your time this weekend, I hope you were safe and glorified God through it all :)